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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Ass Breath Part Deux

Yeah. So, my office smells like ass...again. WHY?!!! Why, God, why do these men insist on coming in here without making themselves somewhat clean first? C'mon. When you get up in the morning, please take an extra 10-15 minutes in the morning to hop in the shower and use that white cube that's called "SOAP". Lather it up real good and scrub yourself down with a steel wool pad. From the smell of things, that's what it will take to peel the crud from your skin. Also, take another 2-3 minutes to brush those grimy teeth of yours. Don't forget to use tooth paste! Constant circular motions. Better yet, go buy yourself a sonicare. It will aide in your lack of enthusiasm to brush at all. Luckily, it sends off about 200 strokes per second. That's a good thing. However, don't forget to brush your tongue. All the food and drinks that you've consumed since the last time you took the time to put a tooth brush in your mouth have grouped onto your tongue which is acting as a little Petri dish. That causes a lot of bad smells to leak out of your face which in turn, causes me to want to vomit. Instead of taking your dirty clothes and hanging them back up in your closet, you may want to consider throwing them in the laundry. Be sure to toss in some laundry detergent. When you go to dry your clothes, throw in a dryer sheet. That always seems to add a little extra smell swell to the clothing. It will help in masking the rest of you that just can't be helped. Finally, quitting smoking will help significantly! Don't smoke and then blow that last puff out as you're walking into my office. This makes me actually want to kill you. If you wish to continue living, for the obvious short time that you have left to live, put the cigarette out and pop in a piece of gum. Those are all the suggestions I have to give to these smelly people at this time. I hope that they will at some point, attempt to correct these problems that they have. I don't know if I can handle breathing in their stench anymore without saying something and then being out of a job. Please, gentlemen, for the sake of my nose and my job, clean yourselves up.

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