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Sunday, August 14, 2011

Smurfette

Before you start asking yourself if I saw the movie, I didn't.  I'm a little afraid to.  Here's why...
As a child, I grew up watching this cartoon.  It wasn't one of my favorites by any means, but it was on around the time all the WB cartoons were on which were my favorites.  So, there I was watching these little blue creatures on the screen every Saturday morning.  Looking back on it, I was always confused about something.  Smurfette.

Smurfette was the ONLY female Smurf out of the ENTIRE colony of Smurfs.  Ummm...something about that was always a tad disturbing to me.  There were so many episodes about the many other male Smurfs wanting to hook up with Smurfette.  She was dirty.  Sorry if I offend anyone who either loves the Smurfs, or hates that the obvious was just shoved in their face.  She'd be offered gifts and she'd accept them!  Dirty little tramp.  But what did they get in return, I wonder???  Oh, we find that out down the road.  Where the heck did Baby Smurf come from?  They never did explain that.  Also, there were all these little Kid Smurfs.  Who birthed them?  Well, the ONLY FEMALE SMURF of course!!!  Loosey Goosey.

Might I point out her 4-pack-a-day-smoker's voice?  There's no way she cut out the ciggies while "with child".  And then there's her dress.  It was like the famous Marilyn Monroe dress.  The one that, OOPS, blows up.   She would walk around skanking it out for all the other Smurfs and the only one that didn't fall for her shannanagans was Papa Smurf, but that's probably because he was her dad.  And if that's the case...!!! HELLO! Get with the program Papa and find some other female Smurfs and sit Smurfette down and chat with her about her behavior and disgusting smoking habits.

In her defense... IF she is the ONLY female Smurf, I suppose she has a duty to uphold to keep the Smurf race alive and therefore has to behave in such a manner to try and keep the male Smurfs interested.  And in which case, with having to work that hard to keep them enticed, she probably has to smoke 4 packs a day because she hates her job and her life.

Side note about why I won't see the movie:  Today's cinema wants to take classic cartoons that we used to enjoy as children and trash them up.  Too much adult humor is thrown in and the cute female chimpmunks are made to wear slutty clothes.  While, yes, I'm making fun of what I found to be obvious as a child, I don't want my 4 year old learning the truth about Smurfette.  It's just not time.

Friday, August 05, 2011

Ice Cream Truck Hell

While at the Sprinkler Park today, Farrah, Toby and I were enjoying a nice time in the sun and lying under the shade of a tree.  Then from out of no where, the blaring sirens of "music" from an ice cream truck crept its evil way to the park. Sunuvabitch.  Of course, this brings out the crazy excitedness out of my daughter.  But do I have money to get one?  No.  Would I have got her one had I had the money?  No.  Not because I'm an asshole but because I know what a $2.50 ice cream can do to a kid, my kid, in that heat.  That late in the day.  And after playing so much.  Also, I had a massive bag and a massive dog attached to me so the idea of chasing after that stupid truck was not appealing.  What also made it not appealing...?  Farrah's temper tantrum.  "NOT FAIR!!! IT'S NOT FAIR!!! NO!!! NO!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!"  The tantrum included a lot of screaming, crying, throwing herself on the grass and kicking.  I was told that I was not liked and she insisted on getting louder and louder, but this was because not only did I say no, but I was packing our stuff to leave.  Who was this person?  I believe I saw a piece of my childhood come out in my daughter today, but I expect better from her.  Especially since we have much better ice cream and pop cycles at home.  Needless to say, I hate the Ice Cream Truck and it's stupid music that constantly plays while other children get to go up and get their ice cream while my daughter screams at the top of her lungs.

One last note:

Yesterday, Farrah went to the dentist.  NOT ONE SINGLE CAVITY!!!  We were praised with how well we maintained her teeth, flossed, adding ACT to her daily mouth hygiene, as well as her diet.  I was so proud of her too!  At first she was scared of having her teeth cleaned, but brave little Farrah took it like a champ.  She was well behaved and scored big with the staff because her check up was s-i-m-p-l-e!
Kudos to us for not giving her pop everyday and handing over a candy bar every time she asks.  Oh, and using a Sonicare on a 4 year old (since she was 2).  Good girl Farrah!!!  Very proud of you. :)