Wednesday, April 26, 2006

So tired. So very, very tired.

The fatigue hit me today, April 26, 2006. Son of a bitch, this is awful. I feel like I have rocks tied to the tips of my eyelashes weighing the lids down. Luckily, my doctor isn't mean and said I could have a cup of tea (perhaps two) a day. I have yet to find out if this makes any type of difference or not. I kinda feel hung over without the barfing and headache. I guess you could say I feel a little drunk. Not "super happy, let's go out dancing" drunk, but "the party is winding down, I should think about going home but I really shouldn't be driving" drunk. Any of you that have been pregnant know what this is like. It sucks because we have to put on a happy face and continue to function normally at work. I'm not good at faking being wide awake. It's getting close to the time I usually take my lunch break. I'm going to quickly eat and take a good hard nap. You'd think I just told myself I was going to Disneyland, I'm so excited to sleep. If, for the next few months my writing is borderline retarded, please forgive me.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Emma and Stuff

Saturday morning, Mike and I had to put Emma down. She was old and miserable. She hadn't really been the same since we put Jackson down. It was sad but very necessary. She was gone the moment the needle hit her. I've been taking Titan to work with me daily and he comes in more often and sleeps with us. I'm trying to keep his mind off of the fact that she isn't around by keeping him busy. It's also been very good for him in terms of knowing his boundaries around the house and how to listen better. It was sad, but everyone feels very good about it.

On another note (not as depressing...sorry), I had my first doctor's appointment for the baby. Mike came along and we sat there a while. Although Evie already helped me calculated my due date, the doctor was able to confirm it. Our baby will be due December 21st. Just in time for a tax break! I had what seemed like a hundred questions for her. The most important one was who I should choose as my doctor for my Cha Cha. I want to be sure to have someone with a sense of humor, but still have good bedside manners. I do not like doctors that are overly technical. Okay, I get it. You went to school for a long, long time and know very big words. That won't help me. In any case, jot it down on your calendars. I haven't yet, but I'm sure I will.

Right now, our baby looks like a cashew nut. Delicious.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Early Signs

Last night I had to get up only 3 times! Twice to pee and once to feed my screaming stomach. That's pretty good considering the night before I got up 7 times to pee and once to eat. That night I only fed myself a stick of string cheese and pretty much made matters worse because it was just a tease. I'm salivating a lot, too. The other day, it was so bad that I actually choked on it! There I was at my desk, not drinking anything, and then all of the sudden I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for air and coughing like I had just been pulled from the pool after almost nearly drowning. Needless to say, it was a bit embarrassing to explain to the people around me I had choked on my own spit. For that dramatic of an episode, choking on spit seemed a little weak. As of today, I am 5 weeks. The bad stuff hasn't even started yet. Lookin' forward to it. Bring it on!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Holy Shit! It worked.

So, Mike and I've been trying since Xmas and it finally happened. We had a feeling that it would only take us 3-6 months to get pregnant; it took 4! I was a little late and asked Mike if he would like to find out with me by picking up the pregnancy test and taking it together or if he would prefer being surprised. He said surprise me. The funny thing is, I didn't plan on checking until the 20th or 21st. I took that comment as a green light. I decided to pick up one of those digital readers so that it would be ABSOLUTELY clear. When I got home, I took the test and walked away to start dinner. When I came back to look, it said, "pregnant". I kept staring where it should say, "not", because that is honestly what I was expecting. All I could say was, "Oh my God! Oh m' God, Oh m' God, Oh m' God, Oh m' God, OH MY GOD!!! I was jumping around the house at the idea of being pregnant, but didn't (and still don't) believe it. I quickly jumped in my car and hit every green light on the way to the grocery store and found a parking spot right in front. It was meant to be. I ran in and grabbed a baby bottle, baby spoon, and baby fork, not to mention my lotto tickets (I won $30 - it was a good day). When Mike got home I was acting like myself as if nothing were different. I offered him something to drink and a small snack before dinner. When I gave it to him, his milk was in the baby bottle and the baby spoon and fork were with the plate. He asked me, "What am I supposed to do with this?" I handed him the test stick and he was a little in shock. In his head was, "Holy Shit!" The same thing was going through mine. He gave me a hug and we sat there for a little bit saying "can you believe it?" He told me he was glad that he didn't have to say, "You're fucking shitting me." Mike's little way of saying, "What?" Anyway, we spent the rest of the night telling my parents and Mike's mom, my best friend and Mike's best friends. It was so late at night, I couldn't tell everyone. Wow, so this is how it all begins.