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Saturday, May 30, 2009

Make Way For Noddy

Have any of you seen this cartoon? Noddy. Farrah is a huge fan. Every night I have to set it up for her to watch in order for her to relax for bed. That's our routine. Well, lately I've decided there's something not quite right with this cartoon. There's always a lesson to be learned as there is with pretty much every cartoon, but I seem to always be waiting for a different ending. Here's why: there are 2 goblins on the show. They're total douche bags. They steal shit and irritate the hell out of everyone in Toyland, but no one does a damn thing about it. What the eff?!! If I lived there, I would have hired a hit man by now to take them out. There's also a female monkey who wears overalls. She's a complete bitch. She walks around with a frown on her face and she criticizes everyone in town. Why? Who does she think she is? They actually had an episode about her trying to make friends, but everyone said they were already her friend. Liars. All of them. They're clearly just saying that so she'll leave them alone. She's horrible. Then there's the police officer. He's incredibly arrogant and has some weird superiority complex where he feels the need to boss everyone around, however this guy can't even put those asshole goblins in the town jail for more than 5 minutes! Are you kidding me??? Who gave this guy a job?!! At the end of each episode, I'm seriously expecting someone to stick up for themselves and the people in town by confronting these jerks. I think that would be a great episode. Everyone in town (including Noddy) should come after the goblins, the monkey, and the police officer with pitch forks and torches and kick them out of Toyland once and for all. Enough is enough, I say!

But why do we watch Noddy? Because Noddy is a good boy. He's sweet and kind and really is friends with everyone in town. Farrah and I sing along with the opening theme song too. In fact, we're watching it right now.

Don't worry. I don't discuss my issues with the other characters with Farrah. That would be rude.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Precious

This Mother's Day weekend, Mike, Farrah and I went to Wenatchee. It was just the 3 of us. Ahhhhh. It was relaxing and wonderful. Usually, we wind up watching 10 movies and several television series. This time it was a whole bunch of play dough games, Yahtzee, naps, and of course, bike riding!

Then we tried something new...

It was time for Farrah to go to bed the first night we were there. We chose not to bring her play pen to sleep in and give her a chance to sleep on the trumble bed. If it didn't work out, she'd end up sleeping on the couch. When we let her know it was bed time, she wasn't very happy. She ended up whining and pouting, but ultimately grabbed her ditty and drug her feet with her head down off to her new little room. She got all curled up in her bed and settled down.

Then he said it in the kindest, sweetest, and most sincere tone.

"God, she's f*cking precious."

And she is. She really is.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Dvd

I am writing this from my phone in bed, so bear with me (or is it bare with me? You choose). This is a story I could not pass up to share with the World Wide Web, no matter how wrong it may be.

For about a month, our gym's daycare has been without cable, let alone a working DVD player. Mike and I have shopped around looking for reasonably prices DVD players all over town. Luckily, we happened to find one stored away in our house. It's a little older, but in perfect working condition. Yay for free! I took it to the daycare and the gal working knew how to hook up electronic stuff so I let her loose. I had been on the phone when she walked up to my desk when her shift was up and it was time for her to head home. I was talking to our payroll company. When she came up to my desk she placed something on it, smiled, said, "this was in the DVD player," smiled again and walked off. I was still talking to payroll when I waved good bye and then I looked down. My stomach dropped to my toes. I could no longer hear a thing the person on the other end of the phone was saying because I was laughing so hard. I quickly wrapped up my conversation, hung up, and did my notorius scream-laugh.

We had left raunchy porno in our DVD player. When she hooked it up, the menu screen came up and the remote was fumbled with until the program had been turned off. Luckily only two kids were there, one of which was mine. This was a proud and somewhat embarrassing moment. I've told everyone. It's too effin funny not to. The good news???: we weren't on the film.