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A new novel…by me

Tuesday, March 01, 2016

Unconditionally

At what point in time did people stop loving unconditionally and start putting rules on the ones they cared about?  Why do we find that we get devastatingly disappointed in people, simply because they didn't follow the script in our heads?
I've witnessed this on numerous occasions and unfortunately, I've found myself to also play in the role of this self-destructive behavior.  However, the fact that I can observe when others behave that way, I am reminded when I catch myself being disappointed when a friend doesn't call back, or a boyfriend doesn't respond just right, or a family member doesn't do what I'd hoped they'd do…a voice in my head tells me it doesn't matter.
I am far from perfect when it comes to heeding these words, but I work hard at following them to the best of my abilities.
But what I have discovered is it seems so easy for people to condemn others simply because whatever idea they had in their mind of how a situation should be played out, didn't go down that way.

Unconditional love.  What is it?  It is love WITHOUT conditions.  Without rules.  Without expectations.  It is a love that is real and that you never have to ask permission for nor to apologize for.  You love, simply because you do!  Love does not look at you through envious eyes for what you have and carry a bitter taste in their mouth for what they don't.  Real love boosts you and cheers you on for how great you are and because they truly are happy for you and wish you nothing but joy.  Love does not set limits and expectations on how much you will or will not sacrifice for them.  Real love knows and feels that you do all that you can to give the love in return.  Love does not keep a score card, and the biggest reason it doesn't is because it's so damn easy to miss all the points that were made time and time again.

So, I ask again…when did we stop loving unconditionally?  Loving unconditionally is the freest and best feeling ever.  It is natural and it is pure.  Love is found in every relationship, too.  Not just romantic love, or the love of our children, but also the love of our friends, and our families.

The next time you look at a loved one in anger and disappointment because you have set rules in your mind of what love should "look like", or what that person "should've said" or done, or you try to compare how your love might be better than how someone loves you…you have to take a serious look at the relationships around you and how you may have completely damaged what was once a great love or friendship.  Be careful with the people around you when you feel like you're guarding your heart because it's so delicate…because so are theirs.

When it comes to the love you have for your partner, your children, your family, and your friends…the second you start adding up points of rights vs wrongs, of good vs bad, and of give and take…bear in mind, you are setting expectations and limits for those around you.  And with that being said, you will forever be disappointed because no one will ever live up to expectations put on them.

If you are going to choose to love those around you, do it for real.  Don't hold back and certainly, don't make up rules as you go along with this roller coaster ride of life.

Love is awesome…100% unconditionally awesome.