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Thursday, September 25, 2008

Being Political is Politically Incorrect. Weird, Huh?

This letter was read on the Air America radio station today. I listen to the station religiously, because I always find the content interesting and quite amusing. Well, this letter, while incredibly long, basically sums up my feelings about McCain-Palin. Again, if you aren't on the same side of the fence as I am, oops. Doesn't mean we can't be friends, right? We can as long as you don't tell me you disagree. ; )

Enjoy the letter:

September 25, 2008

An Open Letter to the Honorable John McCain

By Brian Normoyle

Dear Senator McCain:

As an average, middle-class American, I write with concern because I'm starting to wonder whether or not the McCain-Palin campaign is just a colossal farce that the voters are forced to sit through.

I overlooked the exaggerations, as politicians are prone to, but took issue with the outright lies about Obama's economic plan and Palin's alleged opposition to earmarks and the bridge to nowhere. Then, your lies became evasion: refusing to meet with reporters on your plane or take their questions after rallies, Palin's two softball interviews with the national media and still no press conferences, and the campaign's patent refusal to allow media access to her. Shortly thereafter, you again tried to pull the wool over our eyes contending you've been a pro-regulation populist all along who takes on Big Business maverick-style.

My final indignation was in the third act of this horrible farce I can't bring myself to laugh at: you're "suspending" the campaign to go to Washington and fix this bailout problem. This political gimmick is even more brazen than the rush-to-judgment choice of Sarah Palin--and that's saying a lot. The really juicy part of the joke? You want to postpone the debate scheduled for Friday and even the Vice-Presidential debate next week.

I've had it. Enough! Let's call this exactly what it is: moose-shit.

No, Senator McCain, you do not get an extension on your homework assignment. You can show up to the University of Mississippi, like the all the other kids, and give the presentation you were assigned months ago. I don't care that you're grossly unprepared and I have little sympathy for your apparent inability to defend 25 years of pro-business, anti-regulation policies leading us to where we are today. Like any other person who wants to be President of the United States, you need to be able to handle more than one assignment concurrently and you need to do your homework on time.

Senator, you sold me and America a first-class ticket on your Straight-Talk Express, and I've come to learn that I actually hold a coach-class seat on the No-Talk Express, or as I've named it: Sham-trak. I want off this train and I want answers. I'll even give you the questions in advance so you can study your scripted responses:

1. With Republicans in control of congress for 12 years and Bush at the helm for the last eight, the SEC Chairman and all its commissioners appointed by a Republican, the FRB Chairman appointed by a Republican, and a Republican Treasury Secretary, why do you think we should trust you, a Republican, with our vote?

2. When your economic advisor, Phil Gramm, said our failing economy was all in our head and called struggling Americans "a nation of whiners," what exactly did he mean by that? And since he wrote a law in 1999 repealing restrictions and regulations on the financial sector, how can we be sure you're not beholden to his "expert" economic policy advice?

3. In 2005 you stated "I'm going to be honest, I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues, I still need to be educated" and said last December that "the issue of economics is not something I've understood as well as I should [but] I've got Greenspan's book." Do you think that instills confidence and hope in the American people about your economic stewardship? Why do you feel uniquely more qualified to handle something you've admitted you know little about?

4. Why do you continue to deny media access to Sarah Palin? Why don't you talk to reporters anymore? Why are you avoiding the debate? Why won't you give us the answers we deserve about the issues facing our nation and our everyday lives?

Here's some advice from an average, middle-class American. Think of it as Straight-Talk 101: when you own 13 cars and can't remember that you also have seven homes; when you want to inflict damage on the few of us who are provided employer-sponsored health insurance by taxing that benefit; when you and your party make it harder for struggling Americans to access bankruptcy courts but you and said party offer to bailout Wall Street with our money; when you want to continue the failed Bush-Republican policies of giving tax breaks to the wealthiest 1% while short-shifting the middle class; when you have all these factors about you pitted against a voter's reason, logic and rational thought-and the emotional response to losing a home, job, and/or life savings--you shouldn't be running from the media and debates, you should hop in the engineer's compartment of your BS-Express and slam full-throttle towards them so that you can explain yourself and give us one, just one reason, why any sentient human being should vote for you.

See you in class on Friday.

Good luck because I think you're gonna need it.

Kind regards,
Brian Normoyle

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

It's Potty Time, Y'all!!!

Farrah has been wanting to start using the potty. She does not like sitting in a soggy diaper. She does not like sitting in a smelly crappy diaper. She has been giving us signs left and right and has from time to time taken a seat on the toilet and read the book, "Mrs. Wishy-Washy". I feel very guilty because, there were two times where Farrah forewarned me that she was about to blow (poop). Once yesterday and once the day before, she ran up to me and pointed at her rear and said, "Dee!" I felt her diaper and it was perfectly dry. "Oh, you're such a liar! You silly girl. You just want to be with mama." Nope. Not so much. 3-5 minutes later, I was being handed my smelly daughter. She had been telling me that she was about to fill her diaper, and was giving me an opportunity to sit her on the pot and save the land fills. Oops. Don't I feel like an ass.

Well, today, I was told that our daycare friend had space and was inviting Farrah over for nap, lunch, and playtime. Couldn't pass it up. She loves it over there and Jen, the "daycare lady" is a rock star with our girl. Plus, her daughter, Brenna, and Farrah are very good friends. They have fun together, and I love that. I took Farrah over around lunch time. Farrah went right into playing while Jen and I chatted it up. Suddenly, we both looked over and saw that Farrah had her hands down the front of her pants and was pushing down her diaper. I asked her if she needed to go potty. She said, "Noooooooooooo" very sweetly, while shaking her head up and down. Jen and I were on our feet! We grabbed her, Jen got her pants and diaper off, and we got her on the lil' potty. She sat there and lifted one leg, put it down, lifted the other, put it down, sang a bit, danced a bit, and simply hung out on the pot. Jen and I just stood there talking to one another, then suddenly, my head shot in Farrah's direction and I said, "I think I heard something!" "Oh, I keep a little water in there so they can hear if they did something, but it may have just been the water sloshing around."

When Farrah decided she was done playing on the toilet, she was handed the tp, did what she had to do with it, and placed it in the big potty. Jen's way of emptying the lil' potty is to place a paper towel sheet in it and then dump it in the big one. If the paper towel is yellow, that's how you know if your little one did the deed. Our little one did! Farrah went pee in the potty!!! We were so excited and Farrah got all the praise we could throw at her. She washed her hands and got her new DEE put on. I shared the news with Daddy and everyone at work. Had to. Even called Grandma and Poppy to let them know the good news. They were thrilled, considering they had been placing her on that toilet as often as they could, trying to get her to do her thing.

Finally, tonight, we tried using the little kid toilet rather than the one we placed on the big toilet. It's not as intimidating. We let her play with it for a while, and finally decided to walk away and let her do what she wanted to do and try it for herself (no diaper, of course). Well, I was cooking dinner and out came my half naked child making an announcement to us. She was pointing in the direction of the bathroom. So Mommy and Daddy followed Farrah to the bathroom. There we saw the triumphant finale of Farrah's potty time. Her toilet, unfortunately, was empty. However, the carpet around the toilet was not. Neither was the flooring on the way out of the bathroom. While the pee didn't make it where we wanted it to, she still was praised huge. She tried hard and she was wonderful enough to share it with us. She's on her way. What a good girl.

We're so proud of her and can't wait for the next try.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Naughty

My sweet, innocent, bright, loving little girl has recently become...um...horrible. She is as wonderful as she always has been, until you let her know that she is not allowed to do whatever it is she's doing. Like standing on a chair for fear she will inevitably fall off. Or, like reaching up to grab your chocolate milk that you thought was completely out of reach, but you were wrong. She is not a fan when we correct her when she claims that every little thing in the house is hers (like make up, sunglasses, keys, etc) when they are not. Her way of expressing her disapproval is to, of course, voice it...VERY LOUDLY. Not only is she loud, she is super duper whiny. Her whine is awful. It is high pitched and drawn out for a long time. When she is hungry, she says, "I'm Huuuuuuweeee." but she says it as if you told her she needs to clean her bedroom. Picture it in your head as if she is saying, "I don't waaaaaannnt to." You can hear it. Can't you.

She has also become incredibly bossy and demanding. For instance, her favorite thing to shout at us is, "BAH BAH!!! BAH BAH!!! BAH BAH!!! BAH BAH!!!" Not only is she yelling at us that she wants her bottle, she does it with a horrible scowl on her face. What happened to our precious little girl while we were gone? Can we get her back please? When she makes her scowl, I am quick to run up and spread it out on her face so that she doesn't grow up with frown lines (like what I have). Not attractive. Other than that, she gets a nice raised voice from either or both of her parents to be nice or she will get nothing, while explaining how to ask in a more respectful manner. She knows what to say when I ask, "What do you say?"..."Peeeze." I always let her know how good she is when she asks for things in a nice way, but I also let her know what I will not put up with.

I REFUSE to raise an asshole. There are so many out there, I'd rather my daughter have a few bad feelings about me from time to time, but will walk around being a kind human being to others and respectful to those that are older than her (if they deserve it...I'm not raising an idiot either). We've been dealing with Farrah's terrible twos since she was a little over 1. We have a lot of work on our hands, but that is because little girls are sassy. I also believe them to be a bit more defiant than boys. At least, that has been my experience.

Mind you, she still wants to play with us, hug us, love us, be with us always. She is a great kid and very smart. She loves to be sent to Time Out. She's so weird. But, I think it is because she knows at the end of her time out, she gets to walk up to both of us, say sorry, and get a big loving hug from her mommy and daddy. She always knows at the end of her discipline there is an awesome reward. Loves from us.

Well, I have to go and spank my child, now.

Just kidding.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Pass the Collard Greens, Please.

Mike and I just returned from a trip to see extended family out in Kentucky. We had a wonderful time. Who knew you could do that in Kentucky??? I was going to start this blog with a description of our trip, but decided instead, just to share my experience at the family pot luck...I'll follow up with our actual trip in a later entry.

On Saturday, we had the big family reunion. I had been forewarned by Mike about Southern edicate when eating. You are to only take what you have every intention to eat. Do NOT leave ANYTHING behind on your plate unless you would like to receive a ration of shit from the older people around you. I had been warned because of my tendency to pile food high on my plate, sit down, then suddenly realize that I am not an obese person, but a small woman with a stomach the size of a walnut. So, the family reunion was a potluck, meaning that everyone brought something that THEY like to make. Their favorite southern dish. When Mike and I got in line to fill our plates, I remembered what he told me. I was excited to try different things, because that is just what I do when it comes to food. I grabbed some mashed potatoes, corn, ham, a corn bread roll, and of course, collard greens. The last time I had collard greens, they were cooked in a style that my parents prepared green beans and spinach: with vinegar, bacon, a little sugar, salt, and pepper. Yummy (to me, anyway). Um, that's not how these were prepared. And the corn? It was not your typical sweet corn with just butter. Nope. And what two items did I grab the most of? The corn and the collard greens, of course! I had dug into my ham, and as I ate, I swore I was smelling some sort of rancid fish or garbage. I was horrified that the smell was coming off of my plate. I took a bite of the corn. Ugh. It had been cooked with country ham and country bacon and back fat. Sick. Not a mixture of flavors that agreed with me, so I took big bites of potatoes with every bite of corn. To my horror, yet again, I had realized that when the corn was gone, the potatoes were gone, and the ham was gone, I still was able to smell the garbage-esque fishy smell. Whatever it was, it was still on my plate. I had to go get more potatoes (thank God there were more left). With every bite of collard greens, I took a huge bite of potatoes. I chewed my food like a kid who was given sushi for the first time. You know, real fast chewing while stomping your feet quietly under the table real fast as if you were trying to run away, only you're stuck sitting in your chair while your family eagerly watches with joy that you're eating their food not realizing that at any moment you might just gag and allow your food to come right back up. You know what I'm talking about. We've all been there. Only we were there when we were children, not grown adults. I ate as fast as I could and got those collard greens down so quick. I couldn't wait for them to digest so I could get them out of my body. And then of course, when I finally finished, I was asked by Dan, "What did you think of those collard greens? Pretty good, huh?" Thank god I answered with a polite answer of, "Oh, yes!" because Aunt Thelma who was sitting right next to him was the one who made them. She, eagerly, proceeded to explain how they were made. Wish I didn't know. No worries, I will not be sharing the recipe on this blog. Following that experience, I had one last thing on my plate. The corn bread muffin. I broke it open and took a small bite. That was enough for me. I had already completely tortured myself and took one (or two) for the team by not being wasteful or a complainer. To the trash the hockey puck muffin went. When I went to the trash and looked at everyone else's plate, Mike was right. Mine ended up being the only one with something left on the plate. At that moment, I honestly didn't give a shit.

Later that night, while Mike and I lay in bed, several hours after I had had my meal, I just moaned, "Collard Greens." It's all I could think to say, because that's what my breath smelt like and my mouth tasted like. I suppose I could've simply had said, "Ass." It, too, would've easily had described what was in my body.

Collard Greens + week old saved up country ham juice = disgusting torture.

Ha ha, there's the recipe.

You're welcome.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

I Just Have To Speak Up

I apologize in advance (kinda) to any who might disagree with what I'm about to write, but if you read my disclaimer, then it really doesn't matter, does it? So here it is...

Republicans. Sarah Palin. John McCain. Oh my effin' God.

I am an Obama fan. A huge fan, as a matter of fact. I participated in the Caucuses and stood in the wind and rain to do my part and get him to be the Democratic nominee. He is brilliant, he is honest, he is powerful, he is presidential. I have never been so passionate about politics my entire life until now. When I hear him speak, it makes me wonder how anyone, even republicans, can not be moved by his words and the sincerity behind them. And then I watch the GOP convention. Holy Hell, it is so freaking embarrassing to watch, I can barely even look.

I honestly think the republican party must think that our nation is full of a bunch of retards. They nominate a women with little to no experience as the republican nominated VP. Are you kidding me? Is that how they think they're going to pull in the women voters or the people that were devastated that Hillary Clinton didn't get in? I can't have been the only one able to see right through the hypocrisy and the desperation in that choice.

When Palin speaks, I can't help but laugh. Why? Because...who the hell is she? I've NEVER heard of her. Ever. Has anyone? Has anyone even from Alaska heard of her? What an odd choice. The fact that the republican party's biggest gripe about Obama was his "lack of experience" completely is trumped now. Yay for us, but wtf to them? Not that I care, but it kinda makes you feel sorry for some of those people.

There's something that the republican party is now saying: "The Democratic Party is lying to the country about the state of our economy." WH WH WH WHAT?!!! You're kidding me!!! I have never seen such an out of touch group of people my whole life. Do they live in a little tiny box full of cash and constant security while the rest of the country loses their homes, loses their jobs, file for bankruptcy, and sit back frightened about what the future holds for them and their family? Unbelievable. Again, do they think we are a bunch of idiots? So, if the republican party says everything is fine, we should just take their word for it rather than looking at our bank accounts. Okay.

My final rant is this. At the end of the GOP convention, they called for a closing prayer. What? What happened to separation of church and state? It just bothers me. Everyone has the right to have their faith and I think it is important. But does it belong there? Ugh. Whatever. I just really wanted to puke when I watched the GOP convention and was in complete bliss and in awe of the Democratic Convention.

Go Team Dems!!!