Whaaa...

My constant all day long one on one time with Farrah is going to be coming to an unfortunate end. It is time for me to go back to work. I hate it. I love my job and the people I get to work with, but the idea of being pulled away from her and potentially missing any of her "firsts" breaks my heart. This week I will be working part time to try to integrade back into the work force and the following week I will be full time. : ( I get a sick and sad pain in my stomach when I think about it. I hope that there will be a way for me to eventually work from home from time to time. I know I told people at work that I wouldn't become that overly obsessive mother who had pictures of her kid all over the place, but I think I lied. In order for me to survive separation, I will have pictures of her everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I will put her on my screensaver, I'll make a Farrah calendar, I will make a Farrah collage, Farrah video to play on my computer, Farrah everything. It will feel weird not to have her in front of me at all times. I have to make up for it somehow.