Tuesday, February 20, 2007


My constant all day long one on one time with Farrah is going to be coming to an unfortunate end. It is time for me to go back to work. I hate it. I love my job and the people I get to work with, but the idea of being pulled away from her and potentially missing any of her "firsts" breaks my heart. This week I will be working part time to try to integrade back into the work force and the following week I will be full time. : ( I get a sick and sad pain in my stomach when I think about it. I hope that there will be a way for me to eventually work from home from time to time. I know I told people at work that I wouldn't become that overly obsessive mother who had pictures of her kid all over the place, but I think I lied. In order for me to survive separation, I will have pictures of her everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I will put her on my screensaver, I'll make a Farrah calendar, I will make a Farrah collage, Farrah video to play on my computer, Farrah everything. It will feel weird not to have her in front of me at all times. I have to make up for it somehow.

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