Sunday, February 04, 2007


The other day, I was filming my daughter. It's a little new obsessive habbit I have, that and taking pictures of the same pose 20 times. She was sitting in her swing, or lying there, and I wanted to film her sticking out her tongue. The moment she was born, her tongue was out of her mouth. She constantly sticks it out. It's as if she is saying, "mmla, mmla, mmla" over and over. Can you picture what I'm saying? In any case, it's funny. So, to try and document her doing this, I put her in her swing and hit record. The video is about 2 minutes long (I wish I could post it on this blog for you to see). For the first minute and 45 seconds she is just lying there making various noises and faces to match. Her tongue sticks out every once in a while. Then the climax. She makes a frowny face, turns red, and you hear the explosion in her pants. Immediately following the loud noise, the expression on her face turns from relief to pure disgust. The look of horror of what she just did is very apparent. It's as if she is saying, "Oh my frickin' God, did I just do that?!!! I'm the most disgusting person on the planet and I can't believe how bad I smell!!!" Serious. If you have access to MySpace, check out my site and look for the video. You WILL laugh. If you don't, then you don't have a sense of humor. If you can't get to my MySpace, email me at or and ask me to send it to you. It's quite the masterpiece of filming.

Another fun moment...Farrah's bowels have become explosive. Really. There have been a couple of times when there has been a small amount of baby poo around the edges of her diapers at her legs and some on her back. It hasn't been too bad, thank god. Only enough to make a small stain. Well, the other day I was playing with her. She was sitting on my lap facing me while I bounced her up and down and had a "baby talk" conversation with her. Suddenly, she grunted and pooped. No big deal, right? It wasn't until 5 minutes later that I realized what had happened. I needed to take her upstairs to change her. I picked her up and my legs felt wet. That's because they were. Wet with poop and pee. This wasn't your typical blow-out situation. I just happened to use a different diaper earlier because I thought she was big enough to finally use Huggies Preemies for giant babies. Does that make sense? It doesn't make sense to me either. They are made for preemies. Preemies. Aren't preemies small? These diapers are made for a 15-20 pound baby. I put these ridiculously large diapers on Farrah and she was brewing up an explosion in her intestines. It was the perfect storm. So, you'd think the first thing I would do is quickly take her upstairs and clean her up and clean myself up. Of course, the first thing that I did was call Mike. I sat there with Farrah in my arms and her shit on my lap to tell her dad how funny it was. Usually, when you think of the term "Blow Out" it is a positive thing. You know, like a "Blow Out" sale. It makes me think of a huge opportunity to buy furniture or a car. No, baby blow outs aren't usually a positive thing. The only opportunity there is the opportunity to use that new bottle of stain remover that you've been keeping on stand by for the past few weeks.

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