Crying Over Spilt Milk (and everything else)

Farrah is a cry baby. Not more than the average baby, but not necessarily less either. Sometimes I watch her when she cries and wonder what life would be like if I acted like her. For instance, if the pacifier she has been sucking on for a mere 10 seconds falls out of her mouth (mind you, she did it to herself by pushing it out with her tongue), the waterworks begin. Not only are the tears streaming but there is howling that goes along with it. She stops almost instantly once I put it back in her mouth, just to start up again when she pushes it back out. Picture, if you will, me at work. I've typed up a contract and just finished printing it. I go to grab the paper and it suddenly, without warning, falls out of my grip and sadly drops to the floor below about three inches from my hand. First, my vision gets blurred by tears starting to form, followed by shallow breaths. Suddenly, I begin to scream and cry while kicking my feet around and throwing my arms up in the air and waving them around. A kind co-worker quickly comes to my aid and picks up this sad piece of paper off the floor and gently hands it to me. I stop my crying and smile. Unfortuately, as I take the paper and go to put in on my desk, it slips from my grip and the tantrum once again begins. If I honestly thought I could get away with that, I would probably do it everyday and more likely than not, thoroughly enjoy it. However, I'm pretty sure after the first tantrum, I would be asked to leave the premises immediately. Babies, on the other hand, get away with this well into their toddler days. And we as parents, keep falling into their trap. As Mike refers to it, a baby's shrieks are like nails along a chalk board. Her cries make me sad and crazy all at once. Last night, we had a very interesting cry. Farrah was lying in her co-sleeper sucking away on her pacifier perfectly content when all of the sudden, I sneezed. Her eyes were big with surprise, but no reaction. Whew. Then out of the blue, another sneeze. This time, Farrah's eyes closed tight and her pouty mouth was wide open with no sound coming out. Oh, God, here it comes. I scared the shit out of her with my second explosive sneeze. The scream-cry followed the long drawn out silent-cry. I quickly picked her up and tried to console her by bouncing her around, telling her it was okay, that I was sorry, and giving her a couple shhhhs. Again, what if I behaved this way in my daily life? You know when you're outside on a walk and someone honks their horn? You get startled, right? Would you sit there and scream bloody-murder? Probably not. I know I sound terrible making fun of her, but mind you, every time she even lets out a slight whimper, it tugs hard at my heart strings. That is why when she has spit her pacifier out for the 20th time in a matter of 10 minutes, crying each time, I will always rush to her rescue and put that silly piece of plastic and rubber back in her mouth to keep her happy. She has figured me out. And even though it can make getting ready in the morning very difficult, I'm happy if she's happy.

Good God, NO!!!

Yesterday, I stayed home and took care of myself and the baby because of our nasty little colds. Pretty much the whole day, I chose not to watch any TV and just take it easy and get plenty of rest. Towards the end of the day I decided to put on a movie with our nifty little "On Demand" feature. One of the movies that was available was, "Clambake." Sounds filthy doesn't it? It's not. It's an Elvis Presley movie. I figured I'd put a cheesy movie on in the background while I did the dishes and worked on the computer for a while. Something a little innocent for my daughter to gaze at. Well, it didn't take long for my gag reflexes to start kicking in. I knew there was a reason I didn't exist during those days. I would've jumped off the closest bridge had that been the type of entertainment I'd have to live with.

Here are the scenes that I watched:

Elvis and some dude were driving down the road; Elvis on a motorcycle and the dude in a sports car. They were singing about how it's great to have money and how it's great to not have it. Okay, I get the point, but must it go on for 5 minutes? That's a long time for two men to be singing to each other while on the road.

Another scene was at the actual Clambake. Elvis started singing about the Clambake party he was at and out of the blue he grabbed an electric guitar and started to play. The weird thing was that the electric guitar played piano music. Is that what electric guitars sounded like back then?

There was also a scene with Elvis and a bunch of kids at a playground. He was singing a song about confidence. This horrible event went on for a good 10 minutes. 10 MINUTES!!! To drag the song out even more, he slowly spelt the word, "confidence." He'd say the letter 'C' and talk about it and then sing, 'confidence'. Then everyone ran around playing cowboys and indians. Not very PC if you ask me.

Finally, Elvis was in a boat shop putting a lacquer finish on a boat. His buddy walked into the shop and Elvis got mad and said, "You were supposed to be here two hours ago to help me get ready for the big race!" "Hey, man" his pal said, "I told you I'd be here for you and here I am!" Suddenly, two girls rush in wearing bikinis and they start dancing real hard. So hard, I was waiting for their noses to start bleeding. They were shimmying all over the place and doing the mashed potato and the twist up and down the stairs until they reached Elvis's boat. Suddenly, 4 more women walked in through some upper back doorway and start dancing seriously hard down the stairs. The whole time, Elvis was bopping his head.

I'm pretty sure, if I ever walked into some place in a bikini and started dancing and there was no music in the room (because you know they dubbed the music in later while in the editing room), I'd be locked away. I'd also probably get that bloody nose I was talking about.

In any case, it sounds like I watched the whole movie, which I did not. It was on in the back ground, but anytime music started I felt compelled to take a peak. Bad decision on my part. Oh, Elvis.

Dear Farrah #2

I was too lazy to write anything on Sunday for your two month Birthday. Does that make me a bad mother? I'm going to say no, because I chose to spend as much time with you as possible. Writing about it just slipped my mind. Okay, so some little milestones you've made lately...you smile when you recognize me and your father. When you do recognize us, you greet us with a big warm smile. You smile at us very big and your dimples come to life. In fact, I've noticed that you don't only have one dimple on both cheeks, but you have two on both cheeks. The big deep dimples are in the middle of each cheek and you have two little ones at the corners of your lips. Too cute. You had pictures taken by a photographer last week. Can hardly wait to see those. You are currently suffering through your first cold. On Friday, the 16th, your Grandma Rita watched you for the first time. According to her, you were well behaved, but that's because you slept most of the time. You find your voice more and more each day. You talk A LOT. A couple days ago, you actually said, "Goo Goo." Funny. You had your first taste of Daycare with Melissa yesterday. I was depressed for a while about it, but I knew you were in good hands. The wonderful thing was when I came to pick you up, you recognized me as soon as you saw me and said hello with a smile and those fabulous dimples. It was worth being away just to see that smile. Everyday, I repeat, "Mama" to you so you can start associating words and their identities. I know it will be a while before you say them, but it's smart to start early.

I love you, Sweet Face.

Mama

Sickly

So, it finally happened. I managed to thwart off catching a cold and/or the flu for over a year, and BAM! I caught a cold from one of the many sick bastards around me yesterday. (Mike, it may not have been from you. I'll blame it on Nick) Since I have a cold, that means that Farrah does, too. Crap. Luckily, her cold isn't too bad. I just hope she doesn't have the same sore throat that I have. One good thing, though. I tend to get rid of a cold or flu very quickly. I jump on the drugs and vitamins immediately and get plenty of rest. I also tend to use the whole mind over matter trick and the ailment escapes me within a day or two. Which is good considering I just started up at work again yesterday. I'm sure they're thinking I'm faking it so I could squeeze in another day with the baby.

Farrah's first cold. So cute, and yet so sad. She sneezes, it seems, every half hour to hour. She also periodically coughs. Nothing chesty though. I had called her doctor yesterday to see if I should switch her check up appointment scheduled for Friday to today, but they said she sounded like she was okay. I agree. I think it's worse for me because she's getting all the virus killing potion from my boobs. When Farrah sneezes or coughs, it sounds so adorable. Is that wrong of me to think that way? They're such petite noises, they're precious. She doesn't appear to be uncomfortable because she smiles after she releases the explosions out of her face. I will put a picture of "Sick Farrah" here to document her first ailment. Are you convinced she's under the weather? Yeah...her red nose and red eyes give it away.

Whaaa...

My constant all day long one on one time with Farrah is going to be coming to an unfortunate end. It is time for me to go back to work. I hate it. I love my job and the people I get to work with, but the idea of being pulled away from her and potentially missing any of her "firsts" breaks my heart. This week I will be working part time to try to integrade back into the work force and the following week I will be full time. : ( I get a sick and sad pain in my stomach when I think about it. I hope that there will be a way for me to eventually work from home from time to time. I know I told people at work that I wouldn't become that overly obsessive mother who had pictures of her kid all over the place, but I think I lied. In order for me to survive separation, I will have pictures of her everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I will put her on my screensaver, I'll make a Farrah calendar, I will make a Farrah collage, Farrah video to play on my computer, Farrah everything. It will feel weird not to have her in front of me at all times. I have to make up for it somehow.

Most Popular Girls at the Party

The Seattle Home Show started today. Mike's booth is all set up and the guys are ready for a big year for 2007. I love going to the Home Show and being a part of the "Family Business." Farrah and I decided that we would go and visit her dad and check things out. I got her all dressed up and cute for her dad. She wore a little white long sleeved onesie with ruffles on the back. She also wore socks and a head band. She never wears head bands, but I thought I'd make a special exception. When we arrived at Quest Field, it began. It seemed like we were approached by anyone and everyone. The guy operating the elevator, the people on the elevator, the people checking tickets, and all the vendors until I reached Mike's booth. Then Mike took her out of her stroller and we walked around to show her to people we know. We, of course, got all the ooohs and ahhhs from our friends. There were several that didn't even know that we were expecting and so they were very surprised.

Later, I had to take her to be fed and to change her. I had to have been stopped 10 different times my first trip to the restroom by people who either recognized me and complete strangers to ask me about her. At the booth, we were asked so many times by people passing by about her. The comments constantly made were: "How old is she? Oh, I have a (insert relation and age here). The time goes by so fast. Remember these times, because they'll be gone before you know it. I can hardly remember when (insert name and/or relation here) was that little." Ahh. I'm so glad that I have a camera to capture as much as we do. I keep hearing about how it will go by before a blink of an eye. On that note, I will insert pictures that help capture a couple of sweet and funny memories from yesterday.

I took several pictures while changing her because she always smiles and laughs when she gets changed. I captured a wonderful picture of her smiling. After that, she decided to get fussy and then full on pissed off. I chose to take a picture of me making fun of her crying. I know I'm mean, but I think it's funny. She'll thank me for it when she's older.

Doing My Part

I just finished writing to the Washington State Department of Transportation. Tonight, there was yet another fatality on I-5 by our house. There has now been, I believe 5 fatalities in the last 3-4 years. That is ridiculous. The last time there was a fatality, I wrote to the DOT and they quickly responded. Mind you, they did not send out a mass email to me and everyone else who wrote. The woman who responded wrote to me and mentioned my personal concerns. I was glad at the time that I had written. Now, I have written again and I hope I get a response again. Only this time, I hope they respond with the right answer. The right answer is to put up concrete barriers rather than those stupid cables that are supposed to stop a vehicle going 60+ mph from crossing over to oncoming traffic. Anyone else who lives in this area, please send a message to the DOT that white knuckle driving through Marysville on I-5 is unacceptable.

Tonight, I crawled through traffic from Everett all the way to Arlington. That drive is usually a 40 minute commute. Tonight it was 2 hours. Keep in mind, I had an 8 week old baby in the back screaming that she wanted some boobie that I could not provide. I thought it would be dangerous to pull to the side of the freeway and feed her. So, I periodically got to hear her scream at me. I felt horrible. I constantly had to remove my seatbelt, keep one hand on the steering wheel, and stretch and reach for her pacifier and stick it back in her mouth. Luckily we weren't driving any faster than one of those dogs whose back legs were paralized, pulling himself on a makeshift doggie wheel chair. Does that sentence make sense? I read it about 5 times and I think I put down what I wanted to say, but quite honestly I'm so exhausted from that drive, someone speaking jibberish would make sense to me. The entire drive was pretty miserable, but what can you do? Now, I remember why I hardly ever head South.

Hil-Larry-Us

The other day, I was filming my daughter. It's a little new obsessive habbit I have, that and taking pictures of the same pose 20 times. She was sitting in her swing, or lying there, and I wanted to film her sticking out her tongue. The moment she was born, her tongue was out of her mouth. She constantly sticks it out. It's as if she is saying, "mmla, mmla, mmla" over and over. Can you picture what I'm saying? In any case, it's funny. So, to try and document her doing this, I put her in her swing and hit record. The video is about 2 minutes long (I wish I could post it on this blog for you to see). For the first minute and 45 seconds she is just lying there making various noises and faces to match. Her tongue sticks out every once in a while. Then the climax. She makes a frowny face, turns red, and you hear the explosion in her pants. Immediately following the loud noise, the expression on her face turns from relief to pure disgust. The look of horror of what she just did is very apparent. It's as if she is saying, "Oh my frickin' God, did I just do that?!!! I'm the most disgusting person on the planet and I can't believe how bad I smell!!!" Serious. If you have access to MySpace, check out my site and look for the video. You WILL laugh. If you don't, then you don't have a sense of humor. If you can't get to my MySpace, email me at kathyemoody@earthlink.net or kmoody@platinumpnw.com and ask me to send it to you. It's quite the masterpiece of filming.

Another fun moment...Farrah's bowels have become explosive. Really. There have been a couple of times when there has been a small amount of baby poo around the edges of her diapers at her legs and some on her back. It hasn't been too bad, thank god. Only enough to make a small stain. Well, the other day I was playing with her. She was sitting on my lap facing me while I bounced her up and down and had a "baby talk" conversation with her. Suddenly, she grunted and pooped. No big deal, right? It wasn't until 5 minutes later that I realized what had happened. I needed to take her upstairs to change her. I picked her up and my legs felt wet. That's because they were. Wet with poop and pee. This wasn't your typical blow-out situation. I just happened to use a different diaper earlier because I thought she was big enough to finally use Huggies Preemies for giant babies. Does that make sense? It doesn't make sense to me either. They are made for preemies. Preemies. Aren't preemies small? These diapers are made for a 15-20 pound baby. I put these ridiculously large diapers on Farrah and she was brewing up an explosion in her intestines. It was the perfect storm. So, you'd think the first thing I would do is quickly take her upstairs and clean her up and clean myself up. Of course, the first thing that I did was call Mike. I sat there with Farrah in my arms and her shit on my lap to tell her dad how funny it was. Usually, when you think of the term "Blow Out" it is a positive thing. You know, like a "Blow Out" sale. It makes me think of a huge opportunity to buy furniture or a car. No, baby blow outs aren't usually a positive thing. The only opportunity there is the opportunity to use that new bottle of stain remover that you've been keeping on stand by for the past few weeks.

Uncle Bill

I know it's been a long time since I last wrote, but there has been a lot going on. Recently, Mike's uncle Bill had a massive stroke. It has been devastating for the family. Bill was one of Mike's best men at our wedding. They have a very close bond and are best friends. We've had family fly in and friends fly in to give Bill support. We have high hopes for a speedy recovery and appreciate any good thoughts and prayers for Bill.