Idiots and Their Cars

Why is it when you need to get somewhere quickly, someone pulls out in front of you and decides to take their Sunday drive on a Monday morning? That was how my morning started. I am one who likes to go the speed limit and sometimes a little bit over. I was on a road that was 50 mph and the man in front of me decided to take his sweet ass time. By that, I mean 25 Mph. Not only that, it would jump from 25 to 35 and back to 25. Maybe he didn't see the speed limit sign, maybe he was "little" and couldn't reach the pedals, maybe he saw me coming and chose to sneak in front of me and teach me a lesson about patience; whatever it was, it didn't make me very happy. When this does happen, why do I expect that person to be watching me in their rear view mirror the entire time we're driving and understand what I am saying to him either by seeing my hand gestures or reading my lips? He was very busy looking at every cow or horse out in the pastures he passed, where would he find the time to look back and notice my frustrations? I found myself putting my hands up as if to say, "Go!!!!" Sometimes I would rest my head on my and to show boredom with the slow pace. I knew he could've cared less, but something told me I just needed to exert that energy to at least feel like I made some sort of attempt to make him move a little faster. Later, after lunch, I pulled up to a stop sign and a woman was taking a left into where I was. I was well behind the line and she still pulled so close almost hitting me and proceeded to yell at me for being where I was. Of course, I thought this was quite funny. People feel so confident and safe in their little cars, but what if I was psycho enough to throw my car into reverse and chase her to her location? Back in my youth, I was known to do that. I would go as far as driving up on the sidewalk and up a grassy hill to chase down kids that had thrown a rock at my car. I have since calmed down, of course. Although it might seem like my reaction to the slow poke this morning was about as retarded as the old fat lady yelling at me, I don't agree. I didn't deserve her bad behavior, but he did deserve mine. Period.

On another note...My office got broken into over the weekend. If you've ever seen my office, you would wonder why anyone in their right mind would even consider our office. We work out of a double wide, as in a mobile home. We recently had a rat and ant infestation. It is what we like to call the ghetto. It's pretty gross. My computer was still in its place but there was a long cord hanging off my desk. I figured someone was just trying to work on my computer over the weekend. Then as others started filing in, we realized a monitor had been taken, desks had been gone through, a laptop along with its carrying case was stolen and even a phone. It was pretty weird. People had checkbooks in their desks and those were all still there. We have keys to several other buildings and those weren't touched. It looked like they tried to take my computer screen but it was too much of a pain in the ass. However, these clever little thieves did take something of mine. My drawer in my desk is missing two boxes of granola bars, dried apricots, Asian crackers, and some Handi-snacks!!! What the Hell?!! When everyone in the office starts talking about the laptop and computer screen and how awful it is, I make sure that I sneak in and remind them of my crackers and granola bars. How is that not funny? I should ask my co-worker if it's covered under our insurance.