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Monday, October 29, 2012

Hell's Kitchen Bleeeeeeeeep!

I have been pleasantly torturing myself for the past couple nights.  I have decided, on purpose, to watch episodes from Hell's Kitchen on Hulu.  I don't usually watch reality TV because I get what I call, severe embarrassment chills.  They make me squirm, practically pull my hair out, and I scream at the TV with a bunch of "NOOOOOOOOs".
But what makes me most uncomfortable...is the swearing.  Believe me, I swear more than my share and then some.  I'm not always a lady with what exits my mouth.  I know I would never have what it takes to do what they do without telling Chef Ramsey to take his tongs and shove them straight up his ass if he were to yell at me like that, but I thoroughly enjoy shouting at the TV about how stupid these people are.  But what makes them more dumb than anything is every other word that comes out of all of their mouths is "BLEEP!"  I cannot understand what they're even saying.  I'm trying to hear what they're all bitching about, but at the same time trying to translate in my wee brain to match theirs in order to comprehend what the hell is even going on!

"That 'BLEEP' is a muth'BLEEP' fu'BLEEP'ing 'BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

What?

And...FOX is kind enough to pixilate their mouths and hand gestures as if we were looking at boobs and junk.  Thanks, FOX for protecting my eyes so I can't see a damn thing and blowing up my ears with the screechy sounds to mask the ugliness that comes out of these people's faces.  The best part?  It's mostly the woman!  They are so trashy, it's rad.  So professional for people who desire to be Executive Chefs at a major restaurant.  Yeah, good luck with that.

I'm watching what is going on, making fun of the fools for stupid mistakes, but mostly making fun of them for their crap behavior and crap attitudes.

Ramsey at least has earned the right to tell people to fuck off and/or piss off.  Those are his favorites. They don't have to "BLEEP" him out to understand what is coming out of his mouth.

I have successfully given myself an anxiety attack watching this crap.  Bring on the next episode!

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