Monday, August 25, 2008

Lost & Trying to be Found

I'm not in a good place right now. There doesn't seem to be more times that are good over those that are not. That is an unfamiliar environment for me to be in. I am a believer in the law of attraction. There have been many times that I have felt that I have lost complete control over my life for quite sometime because I have forgotten how to make the law of attraction work for me IN MY favor. I have gotten to a place in my mind and in my heart where I focus too much on what I don't want to happen and I get it. It has happened time and time again, and now it feels like it is completely out of control. I know what I want. I know what I need. However, my brain keeps showing me scenerioes of what my life could look like in the next 6 months to a year, and I don't like it. It's not a place I want to be nor is it a place I have ever wanted to be. I need help. I need better guidance. I need to be able to remember how to get back on track so that the things I want will come. The things I desire will appear to me. I don't know how many more pills I can pop to make the sadness and anger go away. It's not me. I had been seeing a therapist for a little while, but he was unfamiliar with the way that I see the world and how much we actually are capable of controlling. Therefore, he was unable to truly help me. He would remind me to stop going to the negative in my mind, but how do you do that? If it pops in my head, is there really a switch to turn it around. If so, please enlighten me as to where mine is. I just don't know what to do.

There's hope, right?

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