Kinda Tired

Since December 18th, I haven't been getting a lot of sleep. Unfortunately, before that I had been suffering from insomnia. So, before my baby arrived, I was already very sleep deprived. Ironically, I had the notion that she was on her way so I was smart enough to take a sleeping pill Saturday night of the 16th and got some very needed rest. In any case, I just thought I'd complain about how tired I am and how screwed up my schedule is.

When I was pregnant, Farrah was active when I was active and slept when I'd sleep. I thought for sure this would automatically continue out of the womb. Wrong. She likes to sleep a lot. Only she likes to sleep when I'm awake. When I'm awake, I feel like I need to do stuff. From her first week home with us, she found her voice. She doesn't sit there and scream when we're trying to sleep; she talks. She talks soooooo much. Many of you can probably guess who she inherited that from. When we've all settled down for the night, she talks about being in bed, she talks about what we're watching on TV, she talks about what she's eating when being fed, she talks about being held, it just doesn't end. When I put her in her co-sleeper, she babbles on and on. So, to get her to stop, I have to hold her in my arms to get her to fall asleep. When she seems like she's out cold, I gently put her back. That's when her conversation with herself starts up again. Mind you, she has a lot to say, too. What, with having so many life experiences in a matter of weeks. You know, pooping, peeing, crying, eating, and pooping some more. She has to tell someone about it.

Mike has been sick for the past 4-5 days. Unfortunately, that means I haven't been able to hand her over to him for help. He can't touch her when he's sick. I think I'd have a heart attack if she were to catch a cold right now while I'm still trying to get accustomed to her sounds. The very first time she coughed (mind you she exerted 2 coughs) it scared me so bad that I started to cry. I know I'd flip out. In any case, with Mike being sick I've had to make sure that every time she'd cry I'd get up to check on her. If she just wanted to cuddle, I'd have to do it (although I love to cuddle with her) and wouldn't get an opportunity to take a nap. It has seemed that everytime I would get ready to take nap, she'd need to be fed or burped or changed.

A few nights ago, I was up from 11:00pm to 4:00am. That's just ridiculous. And since Mike has to work and is also suffering from sleep deprivation, I've had to pick Farrah up and sleep downstairs. I have to do that since that's where there is a TV to watch while I try to get her to relax and eventually pass out. This is something I've ended up doing for a few nights now. So, now my schedule is completely screwed up. I sleep from 8 or 9 in the morning until noon. I don't take naps like I should when she sleeps. Instead, I'm up. Last night was probably the worse of it. I know it was because I finally broke down crying from exhaustion. I wanted to sleep so bad, but Farrah wanted to eat. At least that's what I thought. She constantly would fake me out by pretending to go for the boob and then just decide to talk, grunt, kick, and cry. Aghhh. I cried in frustration and wrapped her up and took her downstairs with me and curled up with her in blankets. Eventually, I did get a little bit of sleep. Mike came down around 4 in the morning from being up all night from coughing. We're a piece of work. This weekend has been a lazy weekend. Mike said I was so tired because my body was working so hard to produce so much grease in my hair and I told him that he was so tired because his body had worked so hard making all his hair grow on his face and make his skin smell. We both found enough energy deep down in our souls to finally turn on the shower and use some soap. Well, I must now prepare myself for another night of potential sleeplessness.