Today, Monday January 15th, you are 4 weeks old. I couldn't decide whether or not I was going to do my letters to you on certain weeks or months. So, I went for the 4 week milestone because I couldn't hold back any longer on what I want to say to you. Here goes...
You are wonderful. Although, you tend to keep me up all hours of the night, it's not entirely your fault. See, when you're asleep and I should be asleep, I am up staring at you. I know it sounds odd, but I honestly can't help it. I am so amazed at your existence. The science behind you going from a microscopic egg to a living breathing person is incredible. But the emotional tug at my and your dad's heart strings is beyond anything I could've imagined. You are at such peace when you are asleep. I love to look at the shape of your face, your almond eyes, your pouty lips, pudgy nose, plump cheeks, and perfectly crazy hair. I love your face so much. In fact, it is one of my nick names for you. Face. I love to call you Face, because I just can't get enough of it. If it wouldn't hurt you and be considered psychotic, I'd like to remove your face and eat it for desert because it would be that delicious. I also call you this name because of the many different facial expressions that you make. My favorite face you make is actually probably your most unflattering. Whenever you have completed doing something very relaxing such as sleeping or nursing, you pull your forehead up and make several creases below your hairline, you keep your eyes closed while it looks like you're looking as high up as you can, and you pucker your lips like you're ready for a big kiss. I LOVE THIS! You also tend to push your head back as far as it will go, arch your back, stick your butt out, and put your hands in fists and hold them to your cheeks. It is the first of many stretches after a wonderful slumber. The face you make when you're pooping and farting is also priceless. You scrunch everything together and look away while the explosion erupts. I can't tell you how many times I've told your father that I love your face. Right now, you are sporting some seriously cute baby acne. We match! Only yours is adorable and mine is not. Yours actually looks like freckles. They are slowly but surely going away, though (for both of us).
You are approximately 7 and a half pounds right now. You're growing a little everyday. Part of me wants you to remain this tiny little helpless person, while the rest of me can hardly wait for what's going to happen next as you continue to grow and learn. For the past week, your dad and I have noticed that you are recognizing both of us. In the past couple days, though, you are making perfect eye contact with us. This blew me away the first time I noticed. You have looked me straight in the eye while I've talked to you. You understand the roles that your dad and I play in your life. You have seemed to grasp the concept that when you aren't feeling well or if you feel lonely, the second our hands touch you and begin to lift you in our arms you start to calm down and pull yourself as close to us as possible. One of your favorite things is to lie chest to chest on your dad. This is one of his favorite things, too. It is something that you can do for hours and feel completely content. It's a closeness the two of you will have forever. I can picture you lying with your daddy when you're 6 years old and sleeping while he watches Jeopardy.
You also love to lie in my arms when we sleep. I, too, love this. I've had people scold me for doing this, but quite honestly, I could care less what they think. What do they know? Their kids are their kids. Everyone will do things that they see fit for their family, and this is what suits us. I usually keep you about 8 inches away from me so as to make sure that I don't crush you, however, with your incredibly strong legs you manage to push yourself up to me as close as you can get until we are touching. In fact, there was one morning when I woke up to you sleeping nose to nose with me. It was awesome. I knew back when we had the first 4D Ultrasound done that you would be a snuggly kid. I was right.
This last week has been a tough one. You have had some pretty bad gas. When I say that, I don't mean that we wanted to put you outside with the dog to take care of your dirty business. You've had gas pains. This has been difficult for your dad and I. You cry with the pain and we've tried many different things to try to get you comfortable. For the last two nights, I was up with you for hours downstairs so your dad could get some needed sleep. I hate seeing you uncomfortable. When you cry or squeal in pain, it tears me up inside. All I can do is hold you and talk you through it. Your dad is the Jedi master when it comes to burping you so he has come in handy to try to help relieve any future gas. Unfortunately, it doesn't take care of all of it.
You do one thing that breaks my heart. You cry when you're lonely. If you think that I've left you all alone, you cry. I mean you really cry. This is the hard crying with the pouty bottom lip, the screaming at the top of your little lungs, and the choking in between. I hate this. I don't hate it because it sounds like nails against a chalk board, but because it truly breaks my heart. It makes me want to sit there and cry along side with you. But again, the moment I pull you to me, you settle down because you know you're mommy is going to make it okay. (By the way, you didn't want to be alone while I typed this so I have you curled up in a ball in my lap right now).
Another feature of yours that is very entertaining is your tongue. I've never seen anything like it before. It is always sticking out of your mouth. Your Grandpa asks if I accidentally gave birth to a lizard and that we need to be careful because you could end up catching flies with that thing. As a matter of fact, as I type this your tongue is down to your chin. I suppose I need to break away and feed you as I have determined this is your way of asking for dinner. Your tongue was out of your mouth, literally, the moment you came out of the womb. It's funny. I hope to catch you on video one of the next times while you communicate with us with your tongue.
The second nickname I've given you is Squeak. This is because of the many squeaky noises you make. You squeak before you begin to make the creaking door sound which then turns into a baby coo. But there's always a good long few squeaks to make me smile. They're so high pitched. I didn't know babies made sounds like that. It's awesomely adorable. By the way, I should probably tell you what your first word was. We heard it week 2 of your existence. It was, "hot." Yep. Pretty sure you didn't know what you were saying but the way your mouth was formed with the perfect timing of the sound coming out, it created the word "hot." Okay, so it wasn't truly your first word because you weren't referencing anything actually being hot, but I thought I should put it in here so that I never forgot.
Saturday, January 13th was your Grandma Jan and Grandpa Bob's first time babysitting you. They loved it. As soon as I walked in and gave them the information they needed before I left you, they were already playing house with you. Grandpa held you in his arms and walked around with you while Grandma pulled out a small pot to heat your bottle in. Not just any bottle, but your FIRST bottle. You hadn't eaten all morning because you had terrible gas which gave you a stomach ache so I brought some pumped milk. I was a little uneasy to leave you for the hour and half to two hours that I would be gone knowing you hadn't eaten and that you'd never taken a bottle before. However, your Grandma was able to feed you. I had instructed them not to heat more than 2 oz of milk for fear that you wouldn't eat it. Not only did you finish it, but they were able to get you to take an additional ounce. Good girl! Tonight, I went over to Grandma and Grandpa's for a visit and dinner. I picked up your Great Grandma and brought her over so she, too could spend some time with you. She held you for a good hour and you remained calm and relaxed the whole time. How could you not? I loved lying with my Grandma and snuggling with her when I was a kid. If you ask nicely, she'll rub your back. That was my favorite thing that my Grandma would do. She'd sit and talk to the adults while rubbing my back for a long time. I loved it.
You're a very lucky little girl, Farrah. You are very loved. Every new day, every new experience brings on new feelings of joy, bewilderment, and love for you. Your dad and I love you so much. Everyday feels like Christmas morning. I love waking up to my gift. You'll have nothing but happiness and love in your life because that's what everyone feels when they're around you.
Here are some recent photos that make me smile and make me laugh...