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Friday, May 18, 2007

Dear Farrah: Part 5

Oh my gosh, you're 5 months old today! We've noticed that you are growing like a weed. You look like you're twice as long as you were when you were born. Which makes sense since you're clearly twice the weight. The car seat keeps getting heavier and heavier and I am beginning to grunt when I have to place you in the car and when I have to get you out.

Lately, I've been missing you like crazy. Part of it, I'm sure is postpartum, but a huge part of it is that I don't feel like I get to see you as much as I'd like to. My schedule, unfortunately, has made it very hard to see you more. Your Dad and I have been working on solutions to fix that, though. I have been feeling that you might think that Melissa is your mom because you see her more than me. This thought makes me cry. And then when I come to see you on my lunch break you turn to me and smile and talk with me, and the sadness melts away until I have to leave you again. As your father always says, "A solution will present itself." It will present itself for us in this situation. I don't know what it will be or when it will be, but I'm looking forward to fixing my schedule enough that this sadness goes away for me.

As I always write, you are very talkative. Not only do you talk, you shout. You want to make sure the house shakes when you speak. Everyone must know that Farrah is in the room and to open their ears and hear what you have to say. When you get excited about what you're yelling about, you start to cough. You strain your vocal chords to the point of tickling them. I always laugh at you when you do this. I also get nervous of what this could mean in the future. Are you going to be one of those little girls that screams and yells at the top of her voice if she doesn't get her way? Good God, I hope not. Actually, I know you won't because it will be your Dad and I raising you and we won't allow that behavior to come from our precious angel.

You have very busy hands and feet. We are now to the point where we cannot leave beer bottle caps, quarters, and little magnets in your crib. You grab everything and everything finds its way to your mouth. You put your blankets in your mouth, your toys in your mouth, my knuckles in your mouth, your feet in your mouth, the bottom of your shirt or dress gets pulled all the way up to land in your mouth, and if all else fails, your fist is in your mouth. Then there's the feet. You have, what I call, frog legs. You kick your right leg out while the left gets pulled back in. Then you kick your left leg out while the right gets pulled back in. This goes on back and forth for a long time. I even video taped it because you looked like you were dancing. When you do this while lying down with me, you usually kick me in the stomach. If you're lying on your back up against my legs, you kick me square in the boob. This has hurt lately because I've been working out so hard at the gym and my muscles are sore right where you get me.

One thing I've noticed about you has started to get me worried about what our future with you will look like. First of all, your father, Grandma Rita, Uncle Steve and oldest brother, Alex, all seem to suffer from some hunger-assholism problem. If they don't eat right when their bodies say it's time to eat, they are HORRIBLE to be around. They suddenly grow horns out of their heads and a long pointy tail squirms its way out of their asses. What I've noticed about you freaks me out a bit. When you get hungry, you scream and cry. That's it. There's no warning. I'd hope that you'd whimper just a little and warn me that I have exactly 2 minutes to get your meal ready before all hell breaks loose. Nope. Hell arrives the moment you get that first hunger pain in your belly. To be fair, you do warn me if we are on our way home from the gym. You whimper and whine and then freak out. However, in the middle of the night when you really should attempt to keep it down, you flip.

Although, I don't want you to grow up too fast, one thing that I am definately looking forward to is when you will learn to hold your bottle completely on your own. You're trying, and kudos to you for that. If you can just grip those tiny fingers around the bottle and hold it up so you're not completely sucking in air, it would make life so much easier. As it stands, I have to stay up with you for the 20+ minutes that you are eating at 2 in the morning.

Which brings me to food. You tried cereal for the first time in your life. Cereal, meaning a solid food. By Cereal, I mean rice cereal. And by rice cereal, I mean soggy, mushy, bland blah cereal, not rice crispys or fruity pebbles. You seemed to take it okay, but then you had difficulty pooping. We have since cut back completely until next month on giving you cereal again because we don't think your digestive system is quite mature enough for that. We have also started adding Karo Syrup to some of your bottles to help your digestive system. It works wonders. Almost no more gas pains!

Laughing. You are doing this a lot now. You have only belted out a good hardy laugh a handful of times, but you're learning. You also know when it's perfect timing to laugh. Like the time you peed right when I was taking your diaper off. That was hilarious. You clearly thought so, too. This was cool because you will probably have a sick and twisted sense of humor like your Mom and Dad.

You and I spent our first Mother's Day together this last Sunday. We had a lot of fun, and the time I got to spend with just you after the day finally wound down, was priceless. I enjoyed every minute of it. We just hung out watching tv, talking, playing, and napping. You are so incredibly cuddly. When we walk around together, you rest your head on my cheek. You're starting to hold on when we hold you, too. You are also pulling my hair and storing keepsake strands of it in between your fingers, toes, and last night, your neck. You were fine, just irritated that it wouldn't release itself. Speaking of hair...you're losing yours! We were looking at pictures of you and you are losing all that dark hair. Now, I honestly don't know what color hair you'll have. If I had to guess, I'd say a light brown. Your eyes are starting to take on color, too. They have a tinge of grey, blue, and green. You could go in any direction with this, too. You do have the black outer ring around your iris like I do. I love that.

Well, Farrah, another whole month has gone by and I have loved every single moment of it. You are such a perfect addition to our family. You are truly a happy baby. You are constantly full of smiles. Today is a Friday, and this is my favorite day. It means I get to spend hours upon hours with you and suck it all in. I love you, Kitten, and can't wait to see what you do next month.

Love,

Mama

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