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Friday, August 16, 2013

Number 2

I've been meaning to write about this for quite some time, but have neglected my duties to keep the entertainment going.  So, sorry 'bout that.

Here's the thing...I went to a coffee shop a while ago to try on a different atmosphere for my writing.  The place is a quaint and cute little coffee and wine shop.  They cook very nice lunches and dinners served with hard-to-find wines.  There's a nice couch, a fireplace, cute tables and chairs everywhere, and an entire area that used to be a roll-up garage, now an eating area.  It's really quite lovely.

In the mornings, it tends to be busy with people sitting around drinking their lattes and mochas and drips, all the while chatting up a storm.  Well, there's a reason people come into any and all coffee shops.  There's a reason they drink it at home.  It's not necessarily always for the caffeine.  Coffee serves another purpose.

It's to poop.

Don't get shy about it because we all know it's true!  Coffee helps you poop, therefore keeping you regular.  The regular routine to go get your morning cup of java is to also help your digestive system move things right along...at a nice and easy pace.

So, why bring up the coffee shop, you ask?  Well...it has one (that's right) ONE bathroom.  A unisex bathroom!  Even better...no smell-swell spray.  Who the hell thought this was a good idea and what inspector signed off on a restaurant to have one (that's right) ONE bathroom?!!  The two times I've ever been there, I only needed to go in for a number 1 that first time, but after some dude did a number 2.  Gah!!  Serious?  The second time I went there, I knew better.  But guess what I was eating?  I was sharing fondue.  Fondue is CHEESE, yet another reason to have to run to the bathroom.  The one, ONE bathroom.  I didn't need it because I was too busy having wine to give a shit (pun intended!).

I suggest that when choosing a coffee house to frequent, choose one that has more than one bathroom.  And if your purpose is to help you go number 2, perhaps save that for home.  It's better at home anyway.


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