Sunday, June 23, 2013

Dirty Little Shakespeare Mouth

I don't think I should even bother asking the question:  "Does this happen to other people?"  Because I'm sure that it doesn't.  I'm weird, so I get weird thoughts or ideas that pop into my brain.  Sometimes the ideas are brilliant and sometimes the thoughts are very intriguing.  However, this happens to me from time to time, and quite honestly, I have no idea why.

In my mind, I'll have little conversations about what is going on around me and wonder how it would sound if I spoke them out Shakespearian tongue.


Why the hell would I do that?  Well, again, as stated before...I'm weird.  But also, I think it's funny.  I think it would be funny to get mad and speak in Old English combined with my regular ways of communicating.

For example:

"Why, pray tell, would you fucking even say that shit to me?"

"Dost thou not enjoy what I made for dinner and slaved over for hours and hours?"

"I say! Henceforth, your room had better be clean or I swear to Christ I'm throwing away all your toys!"

"Ah, behold the fair maiden who goeth horseback riding at her horse camp so I can get some mall-time in."

"I beseech you to tell me the god damn truth!  You know I hate being lied to, fucker!!"

Those are just some of the crappy examples I randomly came up with.  There are so many others tucked away silently that will never escape.  But really, I have no idea why I think up stupid shit like this.  I do think it's funny though.

Mind you...these are examples and not based on anything true...except maybe the clean room.

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