Farrah has a little talent that she has had from the moment she arrived in our arms. She belches like a man. Not just any man, but a Schmidt, Coors, or Miller man. She doesn't burp. No. She doesn't pause, excuse herself, put her fist up to her mouth to block the air from escaping and blowing into your face, or keep her mouth closed so her cheeks fill up with her burp. Uh uh. She will be talking to us and in mid-sentence, a bellowing explosion passes her lips while telling us a story, and she simply continues and acts like nothing happened. But it did, Farrah. It did just happen. I hope she doesn't think she can get away with that when she's in high school! If she doesn't get a handle on her "gasses", life is gonna get a little awkward. This is what could potentially be my daughter's future:
"So, tomorrow I have a geometry test that I BWWWWRRRRAAAAPPPPP haven't even studied for.
I'm going to have to crunch if I want to pass it."
I'm not exaggerating. She doesn't even laugh afterwards. Usually, if something like that happens to someone, they're completely thrown off guard and dramatically apologize for being so "rude". Luckily, I grew up around boys and my husband is still a boy, so I find this funny. So, she doesn't laugh until she hears me laugh. She doesn't realize how funny it is! It's funny, because it's weird. Who does that? Who doesn't see that coming? Or at least feel it coming?
Farrah, sweetheart, at least pretend to have some sort of shock on your face when this happens to you. It's not a normal thing that people can just ignore. Especially, your burps. They are LOUD and LONG. Impressive...yes. Normal...not so much.
You're excused.
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