Monday, August 10, 2009


Okay, I've told the story a few times, but many of you are waiting for my interpretation of what I call my "WinCo Experience". Unfortunately, since I have told the story verbally to people, my typed version may end up sounding stupid and insignificant. But, I'm telling it anyway, because it is worth writing about.

Let's start with my massive slash I gave myself before heading to the store. I was taking a shower and quickly grabbed my razor and swung it around towards my back to rinse it off. Too fast and too damn close. AHHHHHH SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! Blood oozed down, breathing sped up, and my heart rate increased. What did that equal? Fainting and more fainting. I don't do well with stuff like that. In any case, it worked on healing and scabbing over for the rest of the day.

Towards the later part of the afternoon, it was time for me to venture off to this store, WinCo. I had been told that I could save a lot of money there, and this somewhat prepared me for what I would find. It would be a close second to WalMart. Farrah and I went together. It was one of those reeeeeally hot days, making my seat particularly sweltering. When we found our parking spot and it was time to slide out, my scab chose to keep itself stuck to the seat while my leg went the opposite direction. Bloody mess yet again. Nice. Come to find out later, my nasty bloody wound helped me fit in quite nicely with the crowd that was there that day.

Anyway, we got our shopping cart and yes, I felt I was walking into a Walmart. There's always someone without a shirt or someone who forgot their shoes. Why, I ask. We got in and started making our way down the first aisle, and I was already checking out the various escape routes. I stood in line in the potato chip aisle like I was in line for a Disneyland ride. Only it was potato chips. The way they had their meat stacked (it was for a special) was all up on top of each other, convincing me that there was no way in Hell the meat was staying at the required temperature that wouldn't make you die. I toughed it out a bit longer and simply chose to make an adventure out of it. Ultimately, it wasn't too horrible in the end. There were a couple of times that I wanted to punch people in their faces, like when I was trying to get some sandwich meats. There was a family of five leaning their sweaty ass bodies over the meats to cool themselves off. Are you kidding me??? Sick bastards. But do you want to know what was really sick? I still bought the meat. I was on a mission! There were somethings I didn't buy nor would I ever buy. I would only feel 70% comfortable buying the produce. Produce is one of the big things that steers me towards a grocery store. If it's rotten, the rest of the store probably is too. However, I ended up getting lucky with half the fruits and vegetables that I purchased. The other thing I refused to buy there was their meats (steak, hamburger, fish, etc). I know where I like my meats and where I can trust it will be perfect every time. That's Costco or Haggens. I never see flies, and that's a good thing.

Yes, in the end, while I felt the need to take a steel wool pad shower after being in there, I ended up spending SO much less than I would've anywhere else. In fact, I could have afforded to purchase that steel wool pad and it would probably not have even dented my account. So Kudos to WinCo for sucking me into their evil clutches of bargain shopping. You win...WinCo.

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