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Monday, February 23, 2009

Funny Story

Today was a busy day at the gym. I had to leave to run some errands that included making deposits all over town and paying bills. One of my last stops was at my local bank. I drove up to the "drive-thru teller" window and handed over Mike's check to be deposited. I was tired and very irritable. After a good 5 minutes had gone by after the teller had taken the check, I waved at her to get her attention. What the hell was taking so freakin' long??? She informed me that they needed to verify funds. What? This is a bank we've banked with for years and we've been receiving checks from the gym for over a year. I was being treated like I was new. This irritated me even more. I looked inside and saw at least 6-7 people in line that stood there and stared at me while I waited for the gal to come back and give me my deposit slip and send me on my way. They were all watching me and it was awkward.

Then it happened...

I saw it coming.

It was the biggest one I've ever seen.

It was huge and heading straight for me.

"Please god, don't come this way, please, please please."

And it did.
(All of the above, "that's what she said")

Continuing...


It was a giant bastard of a bumble bee.

It flew right into my face. So, of course, what was the reasonable thing to do? Wave my hands around like a crazy person, scream, and swear a lot. Remember, those people were watching me. Also, the microphone was turned on:

"F**K!!!!"
"F**K OFF BEE!!!"
"OH MY GOD!!!"
"GET THE F**CK OUT!!!"
" F********CK!!!!!!"
"AAAAGGHHHH!!!"

The bee taunted me like a son of a bitch. It flew into my face, then out of my window, and decided just to linger right between me and the teller. Of course, when I want my window to go up in a hurry, it didn't. It's electric. It takes its sweet ass time. Then I had to roll it back down so that I could finally get the deposit slip. There it was, floating between me and the teller. Still swearing and freaking out and waving my hands around, I managed to get my hands near the drawer and grab the slip. My eyes slowly came up and I saw people looking at me with great concern. My window went up and I took off.

I had to turn on the A/C because I was sweating so badly from my horrific experience.

F**k bees.

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