This is real

No, I haven't forgotten to update somethings that have gone on lately (ie. Farrah's birthday, Christmas, etc), I'm still working on it. But, I felt I needed to get this one out before I spaced it. It's that important.

The following is a conversation that took place between me and a potential new member:

Tina: Hi, I noticed that you have a whole bunch of signs around town that says your memberships are $19 a month. Can you tell me more?

Me: Sure. Are you familiar with our gyms?

Tina: Yes. I have to work out because I have depression and I take medication.

Me: Okay. Ya know, tanning is a great thing to treat depression. Maybe I can set you up with some tanning and after you go tanning you can get on the treadmill for 10 minutes to get your blood flowing and your endorphins kicking in. That's always good for depression.

Tina: I can't walk on a treadmill or ride the bike because I've had several DUIs.

Me: Oh. Well you don't have to do the bikes or treadmill if you don't want to. Would you be interested in tanning?

Tina: Yes. But I already have tanning.

Me: Somewhere else?

Tina: No at your gym.

Me: Oh. Okay, well if you're already set up with tanning, maybe another thing that might interest you would be some of our aerobics classes.

Tina: Oh! I can't do any aerobics because I'm schizophrenic. I have schizophrenia. He he. I couldn't do that, because it would be too much for me.

Me: Alrighty. Well, our plan is $19 a month for the first three months paid up front and then you don't have to worry about payments again for the next 3 months which will then be at $34 a month. At that time, you can simply get on any machine that suits you and that you'll be comfortable with.

Tina: $19 a month? I'm sorry, that's just too much of a financial committment for me right now. Thanks.

Me: Okay, then. Buh bye.


Yes, very detailed. But Holy Christ, what a weirdo!!! That was by far the best phone call to date. I wish it was recorded. However, I supposed me writing it down line for line, is good enough.

I love the crazies.