Terrible Tuesday

Today happened to be "one of those days"....the kind where the planets were so out of alignment that I must've been in an entirely different solar system.  A complete disaster.

I was able to get yesterday and today off from my work in order to spend Farrah's birthday with her.  I was grateful for this because I don't miss her birthday...ever.  And when it's winter break - she is always on the west side of the mountains because I can't leave her home all day.

So, yesterday, I had a wonderful day with my daughter that was completely unforgettable.  Makeup for my 11 year old so she would learn how to wear makeup correctly without looking like a hooker at the age of 13.  Natural.  We had fun, stayed up again telling more of her baby stories, and then I had to send her to bed because I needed to get up early to head back to work.

And that's when the hell began...

I've been watching the pass reports and weather reports religiously because I know there are times it can get pretty bad.  Well, I was all dressed for work and packed, and said good bye to everyone with big hugs.  I even left early enough to get to my house first in order to get my dog situated before heading into the station.  I kept watching the pass report and it said it was rain and snow mixed; traction tires advised.  Easy enough! I was prepared.  I even looked at I-90/Snoqualmie Pass as a back up just in case like I always do...same conditions.
I got on the road, had my audiobook going, topped off with gas, picked up a coffee, and drove the 40 minute drive into Monroe.  The signs there before getting onto the main part of Hwy 2 still read "traction tires advised".
40 miles later into Skykomish where the base of the climb begins...there was a sign lit up and all I caught was the horrific word "CHAINS".  I drove until I found a place to do a U-turn and go back to make sure I read that right.
"CHAINS REQUIRED ON ALL VEHICLES EXCEPT ON ALL WHEEL DRIVE"

Guess what I don't have.  All wheel drive.  And guess what I had...chains.  Chains for one tire.  Awesome.  I let my boss know my situation and in the midst of my frustration, said screw it and headed back into Monroe (another 40 miles) to go buy chains for more than one tire.  When I got there, I pulled into a Napa Auto Parts to pick up work gloves and at the last second, an LED flashlight.  For the heck of it, I looked one more time in my trunk, and under a blanket was another set of chains.  Eureka!  They were Les Schwab so I drove to the Les Schwab to show me how to put on the chains.  I even did it twice on their model tire and chains to be certain it wouldn't be an issue.

I got to the chain-up area where there really wasn't much snow yet, but other people were stopped so I felt safe should I run into a problem and might need help.  Confident with my coat, boots, and work gloves on, along with my handy flashlight - I went to the trunk to grab the first set of chains.  I started to put them on and found that familiar rhythm from practicing, but when everything was all hooked and in its place...there was soooooo much loose chain.  W. T. F.
The chain was too big for my tires!  Awesome.  So, I went to remove it and this is when the fun started.  Let me point out that it wasn't really snowing as much as it was windy with downpour rain with some snow.  I was a mess.  I had unhooked everything and began to pull the cable when one of the many hooks decided to attach itself to the INSIDE of my front tire.  The only sized hands to fit there were mine...and they didn't fit and I didn't know where to find the hook.
Mind you, semi trucks, buses and pick ups were driving by going 60+ mph and I was one of those people in one of those shitty commercials where the mud and water got hit just right...right up my entire body and into my face.
I got into my car and inched the car forward about 6 inches, hoping this would allow me access to where I needed to reach.  Now it was worse.  The only way for my hand to get in was scrape my hand and wrist on a pointy part of the wheel.  Why is that even there?
I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to cry.
Did I mention I had to pee?
I didn't want to need to pee, I didn't want to need to pee, I didn't want to need to pee.
I only got in my car once and screamed.  I thought that was a good release.
I had been there easily an hour dealing with this one chain on one wheel, still getting splashed by fast moving vehicles.  Also...my earring fell out of my ear and the first thought that came to mind was, "This is where forensics will find my earring.  My arm will be lodged in the wheel of my car when someone loses control and either kills me or amputates my arm from my shoulder.  But my earring will still be there.  I put it in my pocket.
After my 100th internal temper-tantrum, I marched over to the semi-truck behind me and asked the man if he had any bolt cutters.  He told me he didn't, but had cable cutters then said, "I saw that you were still working on that one tire when I was finishing my 6th...let me take a look."  This made me want to cry on two different levels.  First, he was willing to help me.  Second, he had six friggin' tires done and I was killing myself over one.  The man had on the appropriate attire to get under and reach the problem.  At this point, I thanked him profusely, got in my car, and cried my eyes out.  I could hear my daughter in my own cries and I felt pathetic because I'm 40, not 11.  But god damn it, I felt like it!
So, since I failed horribly at chaining up my car, I headed back to mom and dad's in tears feeling completely defeated.  The whole time I was out there, I was scared, I was cold, I was inexperienced, and no matter how I tried to fix it or to calm myself - it just didn't work.  Besides that, no reception.  Thanks, AT&T.

I let my parents know I was on my way back to them, and unbeknownst to me...my dad was already filling up his diesel Ford with a very large amount of dirt/rocks in the back to keep it heavy and to let me drive it in the morning - none of us felt safe driving at night when it was so unpredictable.  So, I got to mom and dad's, cried some more, and got out of my soaking wet clothes.  I had the heat on super high the whole drive back to their house and I was still freezing to the bone.

This day can now come to a close and tomorrow is my reset.  Parking will be a pain in the ass this week, but - oh well.  If you see a big red Ford F-350 - get out of the way because I probably won't see you.

Dear Farrah...You're 11 Today

Well, this is the year I get to do some extra bragging.

Being 10 has been a tough go at times, but a lot of it is because you're becoming more mature so fast and very observant about things going on around you.  You have a little sassy mouth (no clue where you got that, no clue at all) and you have no problem calling me out on bs.  I'll admit, I'm not the biggest fan, but when you finally calm down and tell me what is making you sassy, you and I can sit down and talk it out.  Doesn't always mean you're happy with the outcome, but you are much better at not having a complete breakdown - and I think everyone is happy about that.

You've slowly accepted changes in your life that include another person to our little family.  I'm proud of you to be able to find it in you to share me with another person.  But don't worry...you and I will always have our dance parties together and girl talks.

There are some areas that you need a little improvement, but I'm going to take a wild guess that you're not alone in this area (I could improve, too).  Putting your dirty clothes in your hamper to be cleaned and the clothes are ALL inside out.  Ugh - this kills me.  This is also why you've learned how to do your own laundry, now.  Now, you see how much it sucks to have to reset your clothes to being outside - in.  If only you could figure out how they become inside out in the first place...  In due time.

Drying your hair all the way through.  Yes, there can be eye rolling and pouting and irritability about having to have dry hair when I'm sending you off to school and it's below freezing outside.  How dare I?!  It might not seem like your style is to have dry hair, but I don't feel it's your style to get wretchedly sick, either.  Sorry, kiddo.  No coin toss on this subject.

You are officially an eleven year old who is basically a small adult.  We talk about stuff that is age appropriate...and sometimes we don't.  You want to know as much information as possible and I explain things to the best of my abilities and no longer keep things rated G, but rather PG-13.  But there's something about the fact that my filter has holes in it that helps expand your mind a bit.

You're so damn smart.  I'm pretty sure I've said that in all of your birthday blogs.  I couldn't have been more proud at your teacher-parent-student conference.  Your science teacher asked you questions very nonchalantly about the upcoming test that was three weeks out...and you answered every one correctly.  You were working on the food chain beginning with producers and ending with omnivores.  But you and a couple of your classmates challenged your teacher about where do cannibals fall in the food chain...and that began your conversation about where zombies would fall.  You spoke up at the conference and started listing where a zombie would be in several different levels of the food chain...I just sat back and listened to the two of you talk about the possibilities. Seriously...are you kidding me?  Straight A student and one that is used as an example with other students because you're also a social butterfly who enjoys your friends and making new ones.

Every day:
Farrah:  Guess what page I'm on.
Me:  350?
Farrah:  Higher
Me:  380
Farrah:  Lower
Me:  360
Farrah: Lower
Me:  355, 356, 357, 358?!!
Farrah:  Yes!

OMG.

But your excitement to tell me how far along you are in the book you're reading, what's happened to the characters, what made you want to cry in the story, who died, who survived, and you tell me everything about each character...and there are usually as many characters in the books you read as there are in Game of Thrones.  That means I can't keep up except for a handful of characters.  So, sorry if I seem lost when you tell me, but it could be because I am....and it's time for me to start reading the books, too.

You are a rockstar.  You are my rockstar.  I love you more than you could possibly know and my love for you just gets bigger every day.  I didn't know the love I had for you from the day you were born would just continue to grow more and more.


So, today, my sweet girl...I wish you everything wonderful you could possibly imagine.  I want you to experience joy.  I want you to know nothing but happiness and ease in life.  I want you to do all the things you want to do without any worry.  My wish for you on your 11th birthday is just complete contentment and peace.  We'll do it together, Kitten.

Dissecting A Christmas Song

I know I've written about this before.  In fact, it was this particular Christmas song that I wrote about and because I'm writing about it 10 years later can only mean that it bothered me enough to put the effort in for a second round of bitching about a song that many love.

"Do They Know It's Christmas Time"

Today is December 11th and this is the time when we get to hear Christmas songs.  There are a handful of ones that make me change the station on the radio faster than others.  Most are from Mariah Carey, one is from Madonna, and the worst....Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas Time".  But because I work in radio...I listen.  And because I remembered hating that song so much, I listened even closer.

Here is the original version:

Paul Young
"It's Christmas time
There's no need to be afraid   (Except of my bank account)
At Christmas time
We let in light and we banish shade"


Boy George
"And in our world of plenty
We can spread a smile of joy
How your arms around the world
At Christmas time"


George Michael
"But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
At Christmas time it's hard"

(See here...here it get's a little confusing because one minute we're praying for the other ones and that Christmas tine is hard.  But right after that, we're having fun (see below).

Simon LeBon (Duran Duran)
"But when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear"


(I'm not trying to seem cold hearted because I'm a pretty empathetic person, but when I listen to Christmas music and I want to get in the spirit of things, "dread and fear" are not words I associate with.

Sting
"Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears"


(Are you sure, Sting?  Are you sure that's the only water?  Have you looked at the map of Africa?)

Bono & Sting
"And the Christmas bells that ring there
Are the clanging chimes of doom"


(What does that sound like?  Chimes of doom.  Hmm.  Chimes. Of. Doom.  No idea - but I think I don't like that).

Bono
"Well tonight thank God it's them
Instead of you!"

(You know, Bono - I love U2 but this both shocked me but also cracked me up.  You nailed it.  Thank god it's them instead of you...well, yeah.  But don't you think this is an aggressively shitty and self serving thing to say?  I can answer that.  Yes.)

Boy George & Others
"And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time." (There is a ski resort in Drakensberg called the Tiffendel Resort.  Whoops!  It also snows in the Atlas Mountains.  * see picture below)

"The greatest gift they'll get this year is life - Ooooh". (Honestly, if you think about it - that's everyone's greatest gift...I'll take it.)
"Where nothing ever grows."   (Nothing ever grows.  How is there ANY life there on the continent?  I mean, the whole song is about Africa, not a particular country in Africa, right?  No?  Oh.)

"No rain or rivers flow"  (Central parts of Africa have accumulations of rain that can exceed that of parts of Scotland, you know, because of their rain forests. So...things grow...in RAIN FORESTS.  
No rivers flow - The Nile located in Egypt which is conveniently located in AFRICA.  The Nile is just the longest flowing river in the world.  But who's checking?  Not these writers.  I am.)

"Do they know it's Christmas time at all?"
(It's one day out of the year.  Seriously..."We Are the World" had a better impact and made more sense.  Do they care it's Christmas?  What about a few days after?  That day probably matters, too.  I don't know...just throwing it out there.



Marilyn & Glenn Gregory
Here's to you.      (Thank you.)

Paul Young
Raise a glass for everyone.  (Okay.)

Marilyn & Glenn Gregory
Here's to them           (Yes.)

Paul Young, Marilyn, & Glenn Gregory
Underneath the burning sun  (What?)

Do they know it's Christmas time at all

(Do the writers know if they're all Christians??  I'm going to take a wild guess that they don't know...because less than 50% actually are.  Still talking about the entire continent of Africa.  But just in case you were curious about just Ethiopia...43% are Christians).


Chorus:  All

Feed the world
Feed the world
Feed the world

Let them know it's Christmas time again

Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again 



They're singing about a continent.  You know that Africa isn't a country, right?  Surprise!  It isn't.  The time the song was written, it was about the starvation that was going on in Ethiopia.  But who needs to know specifics?  Growing up, I assumed all of Africa was Ethiopia.  At the time, something needed to be done to help, but the song was not the answer.  Sorry, folks.
Also...the chorus finishes with "Feed the world"...well?  Ethiopia, Africa, or the world?  I'm confused.  

Again, I don't want to seem like I'm heartless or whatever, but I know I'm not the only one that has noticed the incorrectness of this song.  In fact, I was looking up the song and found that there is a newer version (where Bono doesn't make us all feel like shit for being thankful it's the people in Ethiopia starving instead of us - making it less traumatizing).  So there it is.

Merry Christmas and God Bless Us, Everyone.