Well, she's come across other kids and their not-so-great behaviors. Annnnd, I always seem to have the right advice to give my sweet, darling daughter.
Farrah: Mom, the girl who sits behind me, Alyssa, always hits me with her chair and hurts me.
Me: Well, I'm sure she's not doing it on purpose. Does she say 'sorry'?
Farrah: Sometimes, but when she says it, she says it RUDE like this...sorrrrreeeeyyyyy.
Me: Hmm.
Farrah: And she stepped on me yesterday and said 'sorry' that way and she didn't mean it!
Me: Well, if I were you (here it comes...Mother-Of-The-Year), I'd tell Alyssa, "Ya know, Alyssa. I don't think you are sorry" the next time she says sorry like that.
Farrah: She really isn't sorry.
Me: I know. And maybe you need to call her out on it. Let her know you see right through her insincere apologies and you'd rather not hear it.
Farrah: What does insincere mean?
Me: It's not heart-felt. Just tell her that you don't believe that she is sorry when she says it and to not even bother wasting your time with here insincere "sorries" because it just sounds ridiculous.
Today, this happened...
Farrah: Today, Cooper said my mom was a hamster.
(Tears starting to form in her eyes as she hugged me)
Me: I'm a hamster? I guess that's better than a pig or a cow.
(She laughed)
Farrah: He is the worst person I know. And mom, I told him that. I told him he's the rudest person in the world.
Me: The whole world? Wow, Farrah, that's impressive.
(Then I start to chuckle as I proceed with my awful parenting skills)
Me: Maybe you should tell him that, Farrah. You should say, "Ya know what Cooper? Out of 7 Billion people...you, Cooper, you are the worst of them ALL! Congratulations on being the worst!"
(I started to clap for Cooper)
Farrah: There's 7 billion people?
Me: Yes! And apparently Cooper is the worst! Can you believe you've met the worst person? That's crazy.
Farrah: Well, he is rude and I don't like him saying mean things about you.
Me: Pshh. Cooper - Pooper. (GASP!!) Don't say that!! Don't say that, EVER!!
Ugh...and guess who just won a ticket straight to hell if her child remembers I said that...this gal.
I suppose the good thing about all of this is I've taught Farrah some new vocabulary (she already knew "pooper" so that wasn't a new word for her), how many people are on the planet, and the technique of calling people out on their bullshit.
And yes, I did recite: Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
I accidentally said, "Some names hurt, but you'll never say them."
Farrah: Like the "F" word?
Me: Agghhh!!! FARRAH!!!
